I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
