Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
