Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
