dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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