Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize