Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Everyone says I win the strip club
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
