There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
