I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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