I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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