the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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