Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
