Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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