Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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