I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
