dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Randomize
