well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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