how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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