we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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