i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
