he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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