He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
