I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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