Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
