I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
