omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
