were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
how does that bad decision feel?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
