I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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