Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
