And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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