we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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