he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
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