Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
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i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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