he was CRYING into my vagina
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
tell me about the fingering
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