i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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