Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
