Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
