is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.