I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised