I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize