Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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