"it" just moved
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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