are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
