He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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