If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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