I hate your face
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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