I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The power of my boobs compel you
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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