I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
