Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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