"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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