I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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