Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
