do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I want her autograph on my taint
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
