bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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