I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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