one two three fourrrrnication!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
