dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
