Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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