she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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