morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
