NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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