Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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