she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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