a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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