So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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