i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
