Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
